After being released from the hospital my sweet husband shared a beautiful surprise with me. Ryan had gotten an overnight stay at our favorite resort in Estes Park for our 1st wedding anniversary that was June 2nd. I have to tell you at this point I was so excited to do something different…but I did not feel well. My doctor put me on blood pressure medicine, to hopefully help stabilize my numbers, she also requested I buy a blood pressure machine to check my levels 3 times a day. I can tell you that all of this was starting to make me more anxious then anything. Per her request, we bought these items and we were on our way to Estes Park, the amazing Della Terra was awaiting us.
It is difficult to put into words but by this point I was starting to feel like I did not have control of my body. It was something I had only felt twice in my life before, both times were when I had a seizure as a kid and young adult. It was like I was walking head but had no control over my body and mind. Of course I was trying to be brave and not share exactly how I felt with anyone. I thought if I just ignored it, it would go away. Yes, I know, very childish…but the anxiety I felt was so terrifying that I didn’t want to share it with anyone. Back to the story, we arrived at the Della Terra around 3pm. We checked into our lovely room and relaxed after a nice long bath. We were ready to have some dinner by this point! We went to pick up some Mexican food from our favorite restaurant in the area, THANK GOODNESS for pick up options. I was thrilled to just grab food and come back to our room for dinner and a movie in bed. I was excited to watch an oldie- Old Dogs, with Robin Williams and John Travolta. Back in the room we got all situated and began eating dinner. We were about 25mins into the movie when I had to stop, I did not feel normal. I was trying to stay calm but something wasn’t right. I decided to just close my eyes and hope it would go away. I slept on and off the rest of the night. I can assure you I was ready to go home. I was a nervous reck, not understanding what was happening to my body I just wanted to be close to home and near our doctor. We had an AMAZING breakfast in bed before heading back home.
The next few days were calmingly-stressful … yes I know it sounds wrong but it was true. I was trying my best to stay in a calm, darker room, no distractions, lavender candle, meditation music and all! Then came one of the scariest moments of my life on Saturday June 6th.